I like the way the show constantly changes and improves with age. Lately the producer and host, Steve "Silver Pants" Murray, has the theatre go completely dark, then the stage is lit, and the first performer is in place to do his or her act; afterwords, Murray introduces himself and explains what Viva VAriety is all about, announces the beneficiary du jour, and talks about the act that was just on. In this case it was a woman [or was it?] doing a combination of gypsy tarantella and Arabian slaver girl dance of the veils to Scheherazade-like music, whirling and twirling abou the stage and gicing much attitude.

At first I thought the veils would come off one-by-one as is customary in these exotic dances, but only two flew off and the rest stayed pinned on by safety pins. Girl, you really mus get someone to sew those things on for you. Tacky! But the dancing was superb.

It was only after Murray announced the name of the dancer, Jose Carlos Asencios, that we knew this was a man, and in fact he was the reigning Miss Gay Safe Latina 2004. Jose would later return to do a flawless lip-synch of Yma Sumac (this was the Latin coloratura soprano whose high notes broke crystalglasses, and who was later exposed as Amy Camus, who spelled her name backwards to sound exotic) in a dramatic long white frilly CArmen Miranda down with train.

The Jon Roniger Trio bills itself as "lighthearted songs of love and loss" - which is sarcasm and irony. They're really about opening a vein and ending it all over failed romance. Or maybe something in between those extremes. Two men on guitars and a woman singer who resembled a younger Stevie Nicks (or Steveie in her youth with Fleetwood MAc) sanf about having A.D.D. in "My World", in which the pain of love must be numbed by alcohol, drugs and nicotine. (Hey, that's my world too! Kidding. I don't smoke cigarettes). The second number compared the end of love affairs to lying down on a bed of nails. But the third, "I Was Just Leavin', But MAybe I'll Stay", somehow sneaked in some optimism.

Bettina Devin, a sultry jazz chanuese and voiceover diva, appeared in a stunning gold and black beaded floor length gown to knowk out a beautiful "Blue Skies" rendition with an incredible range. But that was not all. She asked the audience, "How was your Fourth of July? I spent mine with a bunch of drag queens," and proceeded to don a big red wig over her short blonde hair, strip off hte gown to reveal a rust-red mini-dress beneath, and sing what seemed to be a dirty little ditty, which was obvioulsy influenced by her dirty drag pals.

What could follow this but our own irrevocably damaged Peggy L'Eggs, who tried that night to be an accomplished if not neurotic classical pianist. Donning her spectacles and fluffing her straight-laced off-white gown, she sat down to read her music notes, which were scattered on the stand and kept falling down in her hasty page-turnings. At first teh numbers were recognizable, but as she got more and more flustered, picking up pages from the floor and attempting to rearrange them, the music got more and more manic with boogie-woogie and snippets from movie soundtracks interspersed between Bach and Beethoven. But when the cannons began firing, during her interpretation of the 1812 Overture, her nerves were at their very edge and she screamed, having become absolutely crazed. Talented as hell, but very schizophrenic.

Bill Cooper closed the show with bits from his musical comedies, "You're Soaking In It" and Mission Dolores Grey".

The next Viva Variety will be same time, same place, August 17th. For reservations, call 863-0741, ext. 2 or chekout www.vivavariety.org. Do not miss these Baccarat crystal jewelry showcases of five-carat diamond performances.