Viva Variety Knocks Out 45th Knockout Show
BY SISTER DANA VAN IQUITY
20 January 2005
Viva Variety started off its sixth season on Jan. 11 in a new venue, ODC Theatre in the Mission. This time the beneficiary of the show was Shanti, as pointed out by creator / producer / emcee extraordinaire Steve Murray. Out of a dark stage a trio of piano, bass, and drums emerged into light, followed by the appearance of jazz vocalist Kim Nalley in a stunning silver gown. Nalley heated up the cold theater space with a sizzling version of "Let the Good Times Roll," getting the audience to clap along and repeatedly sing out, "all night long." Her next song was a bittersweet, "You Can Have Him, I Don't Want Him." But the best was her jazzed up version of the usual three-quarter time "I Could Have Danced All Night" from My Fair Lady, in which she swept up Jonathan Goldman of Laughingstock Improv in an impromptu waltz.
Printz Dance Project presented a preview of the show they will be taking to New York. At first it was a female duo doing acrobatic moves in crisp Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation hip-hop style, with some pop 'n lock thrown in. Soon they were joined by half a dozen other women making exotic spider-like moves across the floor in sensual synchronicity.
Jascha Ephraim seemed to be a pop star like Britney, Christina, and Justin all rolled into one. As the beeboppy music rolled in the background and a light show flashed onto his bare midriff body and bikini underwear on the outside of his jeans, he sang his original composition, "Get With My Girlfriend," combining conflicting phrases such as "bad mamma-jamma," "Jesus is my savior," and "shake your nasty;" How could he top this? Well, maybe with another original, "It's Raining Astronauts," while a screen behind him showed raindrops coming down, and he played his belly like a keyboard. Top that, Ms, Spears!
Singer/songwriter Garrin Benfield has become a welcome regular at Viva. He treated everyone on his amplified acoustic guitar with a rich tenor voice to numbers from his newest CD, Where Joy Kills Sorrow, such as the title song, inspired by the father of bluegrass, Bill Monroe, with such haunting lines as "Take me tomorrow to where joy kills sorrow; tell me you'll understand, so I might sleep" and "One More Time Through the Hoop" where he showcased his tremendous talent at picking and strumming those strings, not to mention the solo music on an intricate electronic drum set and slide guitar.
Comic Chantal Carrere returned from the finals of Laughs Across America to make her third appearance at VV. Her timing was flawless as she demeaned the hygiene of the feminist wymmyn of Berkeley and their ample armpit hair. "Not everyone has the right to bare arms," she quipped, and spoke of her embarrassment of mistakenly going down on a woman's hairy pits in the dark. But just as vaginas are not safe with this woman, neither are penises, which she lovingly referred to as "salt licks" and "pink piccolos." She confessed early sexual experiences with men, but since has given up the stick for automatic drive.
Her male counterpoint in comedy was most likely the irrepressible Will Franken, who constantly changes characters and voices. He suddenly broke off into a hilarious illustration of his early days as a poorly rehearsed standup comic reading from his cheat sheet, to the "perfection" he had attained after enrolling in the Ha Ha Laugh Laugh Sunshine Comedy College. But the best was his interpretation of two entrants in a quilt contest. The first sewed an SID quilt (not quite as gripping as an AIDS quilt), and the second presented his homophobia quilt. It seems this proud southern homophobe wanted to express the merits of intolerance and homophobia but was pissed off "that we had to do something gay like sewing a quilt to prove our point."
The Peruvian trio from Velocity Circus that used to be called the Bermudez Triangle has split off into a twosome now known as the Bermudez Duo. Not quite the same pizzazz for the name of an act, but this man & woman team in leotards with flames made up for that with the talent of juggling everything under the sun, including giant metal tubes in cubes, soccer balls, bowling pins, Mexican hats, billiard balls caught in strapped-on pockets, and a dozen rings in the air at once-all to a sexy' salsa music background. HOT!
Ever since the late '70s Sharon McNight has been doing benefits for '" the queer community, and what a privilege it was to have her perform at VV. She sashayed onto the floor to preach her vegetarian anthem against eating animals ("only a meanie eats veal scaloppini"), and practically everyone was convinced to call off their cruel carnivore diet and go herbal-only, until she described the joys of spinach salad and the missing ingredient -BACON! It was at that point when her PETA personality suddenly got rather piggish, she began drooling uncontrollably, and orgasmically uttered the mantra: "buh buh buh buh buh buh buh bacon!" and confessed, "1' d kill the porker with my own. barehands." Her between songs patter is just as precious as her singing. For example, McNight wondered why the OCD Theatre would be named after Obsessive Compulsive Disease. What a blast from the past when she sang a number from her very first album, "You're One Hell of a Town, San Francisco" and a few of us loyal Sharon veterans mouthed along. The stomping, cheering, hooting ovation encouraged her to encore with a spectacular belt-out ballad of "To Dream the Impossible Dream."
The final act was Gerri Lawlor from Laughingstock Theatre and Bay Area Theatre Sports doing her hysterical send-up of bell ringer acts. Dressed like a frightened refugee from Heidi, she claimed she was part of Miss Piffy's Ass Hole Medley and proceeded to nervously clang her cowbells to heavy metal tunes, followed by "Dueling Banjos" against a piano, and finishing with "Grand Old Flag" and "America the Beautiful" as she stripped off her Bavarian attire to reveal a red, white, and blue striped and starred bikini, turned around, and showed off a tambourine emblazoned with George Bush's face attached to her ass. This is the kind of quality stuff offered at Viva Variety. The next one is March 29th. Email for info at steve@makeitsoproductions.org.